Psychotherapy and Counselling Centre, Bangalore, India.
Marriage Counselling, Anxiety Disorders, Depression, Stress, Mood Disorders, Low self esteem, Career Counselling etc.
Counselling for all emotional, behavioral and mental illness.........
MSO Colony
Jeevanahalli, Near Cox Town
Bangalore, Karnataka 560033
India
ph: +919036573115
alt: 080-41525437
veena
News and Updates
Monday morning meeting, your best friend's off hand remark, the annoying cab driver — do you obsess over every little thing? Veena Chakravarthy teaches you to break free of that compulsive thinking mould (Article in Mumbai Mirror by Veena Chakravarthy)
- Shift your focus
A good way to stop ruminating over past events is to distract yourself. To break the repetitive thought cycle, experts recommend diverting your attention from 'that' particular thought for about 10 to 15 minutes. So, next time obsessive thoughts strike, try losing yourself in a book, playing with your dog or anything that engrosses you.
Let obesssion take over
But only for an allotted hour. Pick a time that's a little later in the day (for example 8 PM to 9 PM) for the thought. Prior to that, you're not allowed to let the thought cross your mind at all. By the time the clock strikes 8, whatever you were obsessing about won't seem like such a big deal anyway.
Get active
Obsessive thoughts can lead to depression as your mind can't stop ruminating over something that you perceive as negative. Next time you feel anxious, go for a jog or just engross yourself in music. Any physical activity releases endorphins or feel-good hormones which will help uplift your mood and help you think more rationally. Besides, being active will help distract you from repetitive thoughts.
Sit still
Meditate, pray or take a long walk on the beach or just indulge in any other activity that you find calming. Largely when we obsess, we tend to dwell over events that we perceive to be negative and keep trying to set things right. But, if you're all charged up and obsessing over it, you probably won't be able to see a solution in sight. So calm yourself. This gets rid of that awful feeling of urgency and helps you view things from a fresh perspective.
Be positive
Cut out those negative thinking patterns. When obsessive thoughts take over, repeat the following affirmation to yourself, 'I am a positive person' or 'I always think positively.' A positive person doesn't ruminate over past events or worry endlessly about negative outcomes. This might seem like new-age philosophy, but affirmations work at a sub-conscious level and over time you shall notice that affirmations do change your thoughts.
Phone a friend
It's an option, use it! Because, when you're obsessing over something, you're definitely not thinking rationally. So, call up a friend and talk it out. Let him/her check your irrational thoughts. Over time, you will learn to check your own thoughts.
Rectify mistakes
All right, some good does come out of obsessive thoughts — you land up changing yourself. For instance, you may be dwelling over having lost your temper on your spouse and said some harsh words. And if you're not happy about that aspect of your personality, then think about it rationally. Finally, work to alter it. The fact that you're ready to change yourself, will break the guilt trip you've sent yourself on, which in turn will break the thought pattern.
Write it down
Try and maintain a log of your obsessive thoughts. For instance, 'If I don't fare well on the test, my classmates will think I am a fool,' or 'He/she didn't greet me today, this proves they don't like me, but why don't they like me?'
This gives you clarity of thought and over time you may notice a pattern in your thoughts which could point to larger issues such as perhaps low self-esteem, low confidence levels etc. Try and deal with those deeper issues and chances are you'll manage to break free of the obsessive thinking pattern.
Since this may be too much of a task to deal with on your own, don't be afraid to ask for professional help.
(Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist & Neuropsychologist Veena Chakravarthy-psychotherapy and counselling centre at Versova, Andheri)
SOCIAL PHOBIA
Social Phobia is an excessive persistent irrational fear of being judged or humiliated in social or performance situations; situations involving social interaction, viz, parties, work, social gatherings etc.
People with social phobia tend to be very self conscious and self critical. They always judge themselves negatively and look down upon themselves. They generally fear embarrassment or negative evaluation. The extent of situations feared by people suffering with social phobia ranges from one to many, such as, performance on stage, work performance, writing on a black board in front of others, meeting new people, to almost all their interpersonal relationships. They experience a lot of physical symptoms like profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, difficulty talking, stuttering, blushing, avoiding eye contact, palpitations etc. Low self esteem is very common in social phobia. Some people might not experience any physical symptoms but only self consciousness and fear.
In social phobia/anxiety the individual tends to worry a lot; a lot of it is anticipatory worry/anxiety. It can start minutes, days, weeks or months before the event takes place. This anxiety is impairing and often results in phobic avoidance.
Social phobic individuals often call themselves “shy” and to a great extent it’s a proper description. The physical symptoms such as trembling, sweating, blushing, muscle twitching etc are same for social phobic and shy people. But phobia is fear which cripples normal, regular activity whereas shyness is also a form of fear but its not crippling.
Social Phobia affects relationships and careers very badly. A social phobic individual will be so worried about making a mistake at work or looking and acting clumsy at a social gathering that he would avoid going for parties and avoid any social interactions.
A very well qualified individual might decide to take a low end back job over a better position just to avoid interactions. *Anil, who suffers from Social Phobia is intelligent and talented but finds his profile in the sales and marketing very uncomfortable and extremely difficult since he is unable to perform and meet his targets. He gets very uncomfortable during customer interactions, and shows physical signs of sweating, trembling, avoiding eye contact and palpitations during customer interactions. He is now contemplating taking a back end low profile job since that would not expect him to interact with customers and meet targets.
Saurabh is a student and aspires to become an investment banker, but he is very confused about his choice of career since he is aware that he cannot interact with people without showing physical symptoms of avoiding eye contact, blushing and difficulty in talking. He is also finding difficulties in his personal life since he is unable to express and communicate well in his relationship with his girlfriend. He fears losing her to someone smarter, confident and dashing. All these fears grip him so badly that he is unable to focus on his studies. This is affecting his personal life and career.
A person with social phobia will have a charming personality, good looks and will be capable of dealing with any situation with brilliance but the fact that he has a low self esteem, and fears being judge would stop him from growing professionally and personally. He/she might be willing to be in an unhealthy relationship just to avoid meeting new people.
- Social phobia can result in addictions like substance abuse, alcohol etc to combat loneliness and anxiety.
- Social phobia is best treated by a clinical psychologist using CBT techniques.
- Tips for shyness;
- Stop negative thinking and face your fears
- Meditate and learn relaxation techniques
- Do not fortune tell, take each day as it comes.
- Express yourself without fearing the outcome.
- Work on your self confidence; take a assertiveness/personality development course.
- Don’t take things personally, be objective.
- Stop using your safety techniques/behaviors.
(Veena Chakravarthy Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Neuropsychologist- Psychotherapy and Counselling Centre, Bangalore )
A Crying Need for Counselling
By Dr. Minnu Bhonsle
To counter declining emotional health of humanity, the stigma attached to counseling needs to be removed and awareness is to be created about the need and availability of help.Statistics show that the rate of psychological disturbances leading to suicide, homicide, marital breakdown, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. is increasing at an alarming rate all over the world. It would seem that as the material comforts of life are increasing due to the scientific explosion, mental health is deteriorating. Mental health is achieved when man is completely psychologically mature or self-actualised, and psychological disturbances are nothing but a failure of such development.
According to a National Mental Health Programme document, about 20-30 million Indians are in need of some form of mental health care. Every year 2,50,000 new cases are reported. But these figures do not include the thousands of others who may be suffering in silence without access to help.
With timely intervention and proper care, at least 60 per cent of these disturbed people can recover completely and at least 70 per cent can avoid chronic illness and disability. A large number of people can be helped merely by listening empathetically and actively, thus establishing a caring human interaction, which makes the disturbed individual open to exploring, understanding and changing something in himself to solve his problem. This is called personal counseling.
Indiadoes not have even 3,000 qualified counselors. Therefore, it becomes our endeavor to teach basic counseling skills to as many people as possible, through training programmes in personal counseling.
Personal counselling has never been more needed than it is today. There is an urgent need to rescue toxic and failing relationships, the relationship of man with himself, relationships within families, between neighbours, between communities and even countries, before we self-destruct as a human race.
Obsessed with, and doing so much to increase the life span of human beings, have we ever given thought to the quality of life we lead? Physical well-being and health is given the highest priority with newer drugs flooding the market everyday. Has anyone ever thought as much about emotional well-being and mental health?
The WHO has declared that the emotional health of humanity is declining, that cases of depression, nervous anxiety and psychosomatic disorders are on the rise, and that family doctors should look for signs in their patients that would indicate the need for counseling.
There is an invisible stigma attached to counseling, wherein general practitioners hesitate to refer cases for personal counseling, fearing that the patients may take offence. Denial of the need for therapy only compounds the problem, for if there is anything worse than having a problem, it is denying that you have one. Timely intervention of counseling can avert many a disaster.
Besides removal of the stigma of counseling and correct referrals by family, friends and family doctors, what is required is to create an awareness for the dire need of counseling, and the awareness of the availability of such help. For this the support of general practitioners, social workers, other members of the helping professions and above all, the media, is extremely important. In fact, the WHO theme for the year 2001-2002 is ‘Stop Exclusion—Dare to Care.’
While the requirement is far greater,
If, during these times of stress, competition and low frustration tolerance, the disturbed individual is able to find immediate help in his family, social or work environment in the form of an empathetic and caring listener who will give him a ‘hand up’, many disasters can be averted. He can then subsequently be referred to a professional counsellor.
There is an urgent need for establishing meaningful human interaction between people. The fast-paced, highly competitive urban world, the break up of the joint family system, increase in the number of women working outside the house, single child norm, etc., means that a friend in need is even more required today. If we can increase the number of such ‘friends’ who ‘dare to care’, the rate of disturbed individuals becoming chronically-ill and disabled will most definitely reduce..
There are several misconceptions about the nature and intention of counseling and therapy. Many people believe that the purpose of therapy is to talk about the person’s problems, rather than devising active means of solving those problems. It is not talk that is important, but action.
For successful therapy, certain essential conditions need to be fulfilled:
Identifying something as a problem: Many people who are unfulfilled, and even seem to suffer, are in denial about having a problem.
Accepting the possibility that something can be done: Many people admit having problems but feel that that’s the way they are and that nothing can be done about it.
Expressing a desire to change: Many people say they have problems, even acknowledge the possibility of change, but seem uninterested in changing.
A willingness to make an effort and do whatever it takes to change: This is crucial in distinguishing people who change from those who don’t, and this is what finally determines the success or failure of counselling.
The fact is that psychological growth and emotional re-education, like any other form of learning and development, calls for active participation from the learner. The one being counseled needs to BE committed, DO whatever it takes, and as a result, HAVE what he wants.
Thus the objective of counseling and therapy is to get the counselee to understand that the locus of control is in him, to take responsibility for his contribution to his situation, and to thus get him to fully participate in his own healing and work towards a harmonious life.
Contact Me
You can schedule an appointment on 09036573115 or email me on veen@psychotherapyclinic.co.in. Alternatively you can also get in touch with me through my Contact Me page.
Address,
MSO Colony, Jeevanahally, Near Cox Town, Bangalore - 560033
Copyright 2009 Psychotherapy and Counselling Clinic. All rights reserved.
MSO Colony
Jeevanahalli, Near Cox Town
Bangalore, Karnataka 560033
India
ph: +919036573115
alt: 080-41525437
veena
